We are now officially waiting for the referrals of a precious boy and girl. We will receive monthly updates from our agency, but for now, we are #67 on the list and are anticipating a 12-15 month wait time until referral.
I’ve been thinking a lot about waiting lately, but, like most of my thoughts, they’re usually interrupted by the needs of some small person. Or interrupted by sleep. So here is what I’m thinking about today:
This process of adoption, this period of preparation and now waiting, has been completely different than when we went through this process four years ago. (How has it been four years already?!) There is less excitement, less anticipation, because I know that with every referral there is a heartbreak. With every family brought together through adoption, there is a birth family ripped apart by sickness, death, poverty, indifference–injustice and heartbreak of some kind.
I spent a few years of my nursing career in the CCU, caring for patients with various cardiac issues, including those whose only hope was a heart transplant. I came to know (and love) two patients in particular, D and D, during their long stays in the unit, and I was deeply touched by the grace and humility with which they waited. How terribly sobering to realize that, to live, another’s life must end. (I am also convinced these two men understand God’s sacrifice and Jesus’ work on the cross in a way that most of us will never be able to.)
There are obvious differences between the two situations–waiting for a heart transplant and waiting for a referral–but I know, in a similar way, the waiting is hard. I’m praying for the grace to navigate this process I’m in and the emotions that come with it.